My question for this topic is do you think one should start with the dominant woman and create a relationship or find a woman that one connects with and groom her to be dominant?
Great question, simeon. This is a subject that comes up frequently in sessions. You may be one of the many who is seeking a dominant partner and wonder how best to achieve that.
I will start by advising you to look amongst the dominant women. It makes no sense to go to church, and scope out women who might become dominant. You vastly improve your odds by starting with the women, or men, most likely to meet your needs.
Obviously, that means you start with a dominant woman. But that does not mean your search will be easy. Prepare yourself for a possibly long search. Here’s why.
Dating is a Numbers Game
All dating is. When you add your desire for the pleasures of Dominant and submissive into the mix, it means there are more factors that you are searching for compatibility with. Now your partner needs to be physically attractive to you, meet your intellectual needs, be liked by your friends, pass your mother’s approval, AND meet your kink needs.
It is not impossible to find a great dominant partner, but you will need to put yourself out there. Now you are wondering what I mean by that. I mean you need to get a profile on the major BDSM dating sites, and any specialty fetish dating sites that fit your needs. Reach out to a lot of dominants. Join a local BDSM group, or two, particularly FemDom clubs. Attend munches and go to events. Go to a lot of events so you meet as many of their members as possible. You can’t attend once and get a realistic view of all of their members.
But Why Can’t I Groom a Dominant?
Because it does not work. A dominant is born that way. They do not learn it. When a person is not dominant, they will not enjoy trying to be something they are not. It will not eventually be sexy for them. It will feel grotesquely wrong to you.
What you are seeking is that magical chemistry between your submissive self and your dominant partner. You can’t train it, teach it, force it, or make it happen. It either is or it isn’t. When you find a non-dominant partner and then try to groom them, it leads to disappointment for you, confusion for them, and you are soon back out there looking. So just start with the kinky pool.
Assistance With Seeking a Dominant Partner
I am happy to help you with your search for a dominant partner. I do not post profiles for you. What I do is advise you about websites, help you screen interested dominants based on the language they use and any red flags I see, help you word your profile, and answer any questions that come up for you as your search continues.
I have a lot of experience doing this and have helped clients find the dominant partner they longed for. You can be next!