The Question
Here is the letter I received about a Chores and Errands fetish:
Hello,
I located your kink advisor and noted your experience with questions related to fetishes and kink. I have a sort of two part question.
The first is, can needing/wanting to work for, or do chores and errands for a female, be a fetish? I feel like I have a sort of “abnormal” need to work for a female. It is not just the do things for girls kind of thing. It feels much, much stronger than that. I have lots of fantasies about being used and taken advantage of and doing chores for females for free.
More Demeaning is Better
I also look for real life opportunities to do chores for females and the worse the chore (more demeaning) it is the better it feels. I have made offers very successfully to pick up groceries or dry cleaning for women in my building. I have also done office errands for females that are not my job at all. It feels a little pathetic but I like it.
Is this a fetish?? It feels like a need. I guess I will just leave it at that for now.
What do you think?
O
My Response
That is definitely a fetish. I have known, and spoken with many men whose primary fetish is to serve women. It is not about being polite, gentlemanly; or being paid for your work. It is completely about being in service to a woman. The more dominant the woman is, the more you will enjoy this work you do.
Advertising
Like you, I know men who have placed ads offering their services free. They always receive responses. Some women cannot get past the fact that you will do it for free. This makes them suspicious. Move on. The right woman will not care that you don’t want to be paid. She will find that amusing and take you up on your office quickly.
Nasty Jobs
The fact that the nastier jobs please you most does point to a need for degradation. This is a healthy way to get that need met. You are of service to a woman, taking care of a dirty chore she doesn’t want to do. As your reward, you get to indulge in your fetish and get balanced out again.
Personally, a service slave/submissive is the number one type of submissive I have accepted into my personal life. A Mistress always needs chores done and errands run. I have better things to do with my time and energy. You can bet that many other women feel the same way. Figuring out what your Mistress needs and giving it to her will bring you closer together.
Thank you for submitting your question “O”. I know others who share your fetish will benefit from reading this post.
This blog is your chance to ask me anything about BDSM, the Mistress/submissive relationship, kinky lifestyles, or fetishes. Simply send your question to my email: violet@enchantriempire.com.
You will see your letter and my response here in the blog. Be sure to sign off with the name you want me to use in my post.
Miss Violet
Miss Violet 800-601-6975
Miss Violet,
That was an incredibly helpful explanation. Thank you. It also gives me a little hope. My concern is that if I advertised it would make a woman suspicious and she would not understand that I really would like to do her grocery shopping, rake her lawn or get her car washed and would be very happy doing that for no fee. I liked your word “balanced” – also useful term. I feel like if I could find some sort of arrangement where I could “just” go clean a woman’s house (or grocery shop for her or whatever she needs) on some sort of semi regular basis it would be immensely gratifying to me. I need find someone who “gets that” or does not question it but wants some service.
I have a related question that is odd but I have long wondered. Is there any relationship between having desires like this and being small/tiny endowed? Is a small endowed guy more likely to have a need like this? I expect there is not research on this but maybe it is known somehow?
I am really happy to hear you found this helpful, O. It is likely that women who respond to an ad will be confused at you not wanting money, and rather suspicious. But a dominant woman will let you do it. She will feel that men are here to serve her and stop wondering why you want to do it. I have not noticed a correlation between penis size and the desire to serve a woman. I am going by the men who have served me in this way in my personal life, as well as the men who have called me here at LDW who are into the chores and errands fetish. Cocks of all sizes.
I definitely found your thoughts helpful or at least hopeful. Is it crazy to think that this could be a nice thing for a dominant female? I would think if it was not complicated and just someone to do some regular chores that it could be nice for someone. Does this arrangement exist much out there and if so how do people find it? I would think a female might hesitate if she thought the fellow was nutty but if she could understand that it is just a need/desire to do work for a female I might think it would be okay?