Ms Violet 800-601-6975
The Question
Are there any tell-tale signs that indicate that a women you meet in the vanilla world might have sexually dominant tendencies?
For example, I have a wonderful yoga teacher who has many vanilla traits I find attractive. She also likes to push me to do things that are on the edge of what I am capable of. It causes her great joy when I succeed.
Somehow, that just seems to suggest that maybe she could enjoy a sexually dominant role in a relationship. I know that may be a little of a stretch. But are there any giveaway signs of a woman who has a dominant side?
Seeking-a-mistress-in-Texas
My Answer
First I want to address the difference between a person having a dominant side, and being a Dominant. These are two very different things.
Many people have dominant traits and are dominant in their dealings with people. That does not make them a Dominant.
Being a Dominant is part of a person’s sexuality and nature. This is why I advise you to forget about finding a woman you like and then discovering if she is open to being your Mistress.
Where to Look
I have said it before, to many callers, and I will say it here as well. You need to go where the Dominant women are. Whether you seek a sensual Mistress, or a strict one; you will find them in two places for sure:
1. Local lifestyle chapters. If you do not know what I mean by that, email me and I will give you details. Look for these groups online. Contact them and find out when their next “Munch” is. This is a casual social gathering where Dominants and submissives meet at a restaurant, have a meal, and get to know one another. If you like that, consider attending an event at the club.
2. Online lifestyle sites such as alt.com; Fetlife.com; and others. These sites cater to Dominants and submissives. Fetlife.com caters specially to Dominant women and submissive men; so that is a great place to start. But I have had excellent experiences with meeting lifestyle partners on alt.com.
It’s a Process
Give this some time. When you know you need a partner who is into female domination, it will take longer to find the right person. Think about it…you will need to find someone with the usual qualities you seek AND kinks that work with yours. Look everywhere you can, meet a lot of women, session with them when it’s right, and take your time.
The right Mistress will be worth the wait.
Your Experiences
Have you found a lifestyle partner? How did you go about your search? What advice would you give to someone just beginning their search?
Feel free to leave comments here. They can be invaluable to my readers.
Have a question for me? Email your femdom Mistress at violet@enchantrixempire.com. Put “YourKinkAdvisor Question” in the subject line. I will answer your question here in my blog.
Yet another insightful posting by the most knowledgeable Woman. i learn so much from Your posts Miss Violet. Thank You.
I enjoy hearing that little luke. My postings on this blog are entirely driven by the questions I receive from my subscribers. I am really glad someone asked about this topic as it is one I know a lot of submissive men would like some direction with.
There are so many qualities one can want in a partner. Playful, sensual and sexually dominant are certainly among them. But most importantly, I think it’s just someone to connect with.
And where does one go to find someone like you Mistress? Well, I found you here. So much to be grateful for in this world. Even if I never get to have another dominant relationship, I’ll treasure that I found you. I can’t wait to hear your sweet voice again saying, “hello slave”.
Hello slave. How lovely to see you here again. *smile* We did, indeed, find each other here on LDW. And we have formed an incredible Mistress/slave relationship. One that I treasure deeply.
I know you have insights on the topic of searching for a lifestyle partner. A topic we have discussed at length in session.